So I decided Sunday morning that we had no food in our house and I needed to go shopping. As I was at the Pittsburgh Mills I decided that I was hungry and would go to Eat n Park to have lunch. Well ... whoever said there was a recession going on obviously didn't tell these people. I (by myself) had to wait for 15 minutes to get a table.! When I was seated I proceeded to pull out my new "Happy Hookers" book. Despite what you might think it is actually a crochet book. While I did buy it partly for the name itself, it does have some good patterns in it. (Back to story) I was greeted by my WAY to happy waitress. Now I'm not saying that being happy is a bad thing but there are limits. When you look like the characters in the "Black Hole Sun" video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiSkyEyBczU then you have a problem.
So I place my order and am rudely interrupted by a 2-3 year old girl screaming at the top of her lungs. The mother was holding her and not doing anything to try to quiet her. Yes as you can tell I don't have children but I like to think that I am a half-mother to my nephew. Now in my countless Monday's with Dawson I can honestly say that I have never had a problem with him in public. Do parents really think that kids want to be everywhere that they are all the time? In my time with Dawson I've quickly realized that distractions are KEY. I see endless parents with nothing to keep a childs attention. For God's sake even a pen and the back of a menu will suffice. Please for the sake of everyone that dosent' have a kid , bring something to keep your kid entertained. Even if it's a video game, if it keeps that damn kid quiet I don't care. So once the little girls brother and dad returned from the bathroom she seemed to quiet down a little. But they have a couch and coffee table in the area that I happened to be sitting in . So the parents let the kids crawl all over this table. I mean literally the boy was on top jumping while the girl was crawling through the bottom section, while proceeding to get stuck and screaming again. Thankfully they were seated promptly and someone else had to deal with them.
So just getting back into my book my food arrives as well as 2 ladies move into the table beside me. Obviously a mother and daughter (mother 70's and daughter 40's). I had to laugh thinking this was Dorothy and Sophia from Golden Girls as the daughter told her mother to get her head out of her ass or she was going to the home. Well now we have some entertainment. So my salad looks delicious and the waitress approaches S & D (Sophia and Dorothy) and asks for their order. D loudly asks "What's that she has there" pointing at my salad. I hate it when people do that!!! The waitress tells her what it is and she yells at me "Is that any good?" What the hell does she expect me to say, "no it tastes like shit but I'm eating it anyway" .? REally?
So D ends up ordering the same exact thing as me, then her mother opens her mouth. Now by this time of the day it is at least 1pm. I think everywhere should abide by McDonalds rules and stop serving breakfast at 1030. If you can't get up and get breakfast by then your just too lazy and should be punished by having to eat pizza cold.
So "S" orders a breakfast platter with eggs which have to be cooked to her spec's or it WILL be sent back. So while I've never really waitressed I hate this shit. People have taken being a P.I.T.A. to a whole new level. So the waitress brings their food and "S" is inspecting the eggs like nobody's business, and says to "D" "I don't think they're done enough". To which I envision "Shady Pines Ma!" lol. The daughter says "Shut up and eat the eggs mom" to which she does. The "D" yells over to me "Im glad you convinced me to get this salad it is really good". Well I don't recall actually having a conversation with this woman , but whatever helps you sleep at night.
So Please next time you go to eat:
Don't ask people what they're eating
Don't let your children climb over anything the can
Bring something for your child to do
If you kid acts up have either you or your spouse take them outside or to the car until they settle. I'm sure you get used to hearing your child yell at home all the time , but remember you are in public and I can guarantee no one else wants to hear it.
This concludes todays Public Service Announcement.
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